Did you know that on the day of the Summer Solstice our shadows are the shortest they’ll be all year?

That little fact got me thinking about our relationship with shadows. And by shadow, I mean the parts of ourselves we tend to reject or hide. Those parts that don't make it into an IG reel.

For a long time, I met the solstice with heaviness, focusing only on the return of the dark. I resisted slowing down and believed my worth depended on how much I could shine, produce, and keep going.

All. The. Time.

But here’s what I’ve come to understand: the Summer Solstice mirrors the peak moment in many natural cycles. It’s like midday in the daily rhythm, the full moon in the lunar cycle, ovulation in the menstrual cycle, adolescence in the life cycle, and a flower in full bloom.

It’s big energy. Expansive. Buzzing. Ripe with potential.

And it's exactly the time when we learn to find our NO so that we can find our YES and honour our agreements with integrity.

Dancing Red Shoes

Over the past week, I’ve been revisiting the chapter of The Red Shoes from Women Who Run With the Wolves, in preparation for our Summer Solstice Ceremony.

In the story, a young woman becomes obsessed with a pair of shiny red shoes. When she puts them on, she begins to dance. And can’t stop.

At first it’s thrilling, intoxicating. But soon the shoes take over. She dances through pain, through exhaustion, through shame, unable to stop even when she desperately wants to. The shoes must be cut off before she can return to herself.

It’s a haunting myth.

There are many things we can be ‘danced by’ and in our culture this can often look like busyness and productivity. To keep going, saying yes, reaching higher, shining harder.

But if we aren’t careful, we start to lose track of our own rhythm. Our own enoughness.

This is the power of owning our boundaries: learning when to stop, when to rest, when to say no. Not because we’re shrinking, but because we’re choosing to stay rooted.

Ways To Do This

Here's a few ideas of how we take this out of the abstract of a fairy tale and into our daily, real life.

Pause Before We Say Yes

In moments of excitement or high energy (like solstice season), let’s pause before agreeing to new commitments. We can ask ourselves: Is this truly aligned? Or are we saying yes out of habit, pressure, or fear of missing out?

This helps us honour our inner rhythm, not just external expectations.

Take Off the Metaphorical Red Shoes

We can ask ourselves: Where are we dancing too hard? What’s running us instead of us running it?
Then, consciously stop doing one thing that’s leaving us exhausted or disconnected, even if just for a day.

Let’s allow ourselves not to perform.

Ground Our Yes with Integrity

Before committing to new projects, social events, or creative bursts, let’s ask: What do we need in place to show up fully?

This practice turns our YES into a choice rooted in integrity, not obligation.

Hold a Simple Solstice Fire or Candle Ritual

Together, we can light a candle or small fire and name the things we’re choosing to release—habits of overdoing, perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-criticism.

Then name what we’re calling in: clarity, rest, rootedness, discernment.

The Shadow Side of the Summer Solstice